CALGON..........

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you said "What else can happen?" WELL.....I am soooooooo there! This all started 2 Saturday's ago, we went to the pumpkin patch and all of a sudden I started feeling terrible pain, which in unusual for me, so I say it's time to go. Pain is gone, but it's in my right side so I ponder and worry "appendicitis". With my high tolerance for pain (go ahead, you don't have to believe me, the dr's don't either, seriously, but I gave birth to 2 kids and felt no labor pains) and being the right side, I tell DH I think we should pull into the Urgent Care Center. Well, HA!, that's a joke. The dr says "think you might have a kidney infection or kidney stone." Sends me out with a script to fill, a strainer to "catch" the "possible" stone, follow up on Monday for a CT.

We head to Target to fill script, pharmacy is closed. No problem, head to Walgreens (home of the 24 hr pharmacies right!) CLOSED because they had no Pharmacist on staff - WHHAT?. Head to WalMart, pharmacy, closes in 5 minutes, to late to fill a script. UGH, DH says "ever feel like this wasn't meant to be?" Um, YES! I take them home, it's past bedtimes, and head for another Walgreens, who thankfully was staffed with a pharmacist AND got the script filled in record time for them, 15 minutes!

On to Monday, call my regular dr, get an appt. She agrees with the Urgent Care Dr, they will set up a ct scan, stat mind you, and I had it THURSDAY! Some fubars on the dr office part, a lot of persistence on my part, calling the insurance company and staying on top of it. Oh, and mind you, during this "waiting" I am not eating breakfast or lunch until late, around 3 when I decide it's not happening that day, or drinking POP, all of that equals an irritable person!! Anyhow, I go for the ct scan (turns out it's without dye so them telling me not to eat or drink was POINTLESS) and go on.

Monday (it's now been a week!) the dr's office calls with the results - sure enough, kidney stone on the right kidney. They are referring to a urologist, who might set up another ct scan, this time with dye (contrast). Umkay, thanks, that's another $100! Go to the urologist on Tuesday - WOW is all I can say! I walked out with my head spinning and more confused than when I went in. I felt like the dr had Alzheimer's or was thinking out loud and only hearing what he could when he wasn't thinking! So when he walks in, he asks where I hurt. I point to the upper right part of my back and smarty says "Well, that's funny you hurt there, that's not where your kidney is." To which I say, "That's where it hurts, don't really know where the kidney is, don't care, that's where I hurt!" To which he came right back "Well, your kidney on the right side is in your pelvic area." OK, and I am guessing it's not suppose to live there, right?! He asked when I had my surgery did the dr tell me that my kidney was down there, no not really, didn't think to ask that!!

So we go on to talk about other things, well I was talking, not sure what he found so interesting in that paperwork, and I asked about always having to go to the bathroom. Mr. Cool says "Well, has your bladder moved?" "Well, if it did, it didn't leave a forwarding address; so I don't know if it went North, South, East or West, BUT it could still be right where it's suppose to be!" Hmm...he asks if they did bladder repair, nope. "Hmm....surprises me," he says. Ok, well, I get an exam to see if it's moved - FUN. Do I know if it's moved, NOPE, but the medical assistant knows my right kidney is hanging out in my pelvic area!

So, with a kidney stone on the right kidney (which is hanging out in my pelvic area) there also seems to be 2 kidney stones on the left side that "might" be blocking the urethra tube, they will set me up with a ct scan w/ contrast so he can see more. I really think he just likes to see things in color, after all, black and white gets pretty boring! So, out I go, confused and well, dumbfounded.

Tuesday night, I am sitting on the couch and my palm starts itching. I think, hmm, weird, wonder which one means I am giving or receiving money! Then, my head starts itching, then my arm. I give up and go to bed. Well, about 1 am I am up, miserably itching like crazy, goes on for hours, I go back to bed. Wednesday, well it only gets worse, and on Thursday morning, I am in tears it is sooooooo miserable. The kids are out for fall break, Max has a dentist appt so off we go at 7:50 am. I bribe the kids telling them if they are good we can go somewhere special after the dentist. Both do amazingly well, so we go to IHOP to eat! Well, I start feeling the need to itch BADLY while in IHOP (I think it put my senses on sugar overload!) and I am sure I looked like a freak trying not to itch. I would tilt my head to the side and rub, ok, now the other side, oh now the back itches, so I rub on the booth, now my foot, so I take off the shoe and rub on the floor, GREAT now the top of my head itches. What to do, oh well, people will just think I am a freak with head lice! We get out of there, come home and call the dr. Thankfully she can see me in an hour, I might have skin left in that short amount of time!! Go there, both kids in tow, bribing them again, this time its a drive thru car wash!. HIVES, but no, I of course can't have "normal" hives, NO, it looks like a rash until you scratch and it raises the skin. Well, special! I get a steroid shot (in the hip) both kids laugh because I have to pull down the pants, get stuck and get a bugs bunny band-aid. Max says, "Did it hurt Mom?" I tell him no, then he says "Then why did you move when she stuck you?" Always on top of things that kid is! I say because she snuck up on me when I wasn't ready! So now we go off to get the car washed and fill another script. I am SO ready for this to be over!

To summarize, I have a total of 3 kidney stones, a swollen left kidney, hives, a kidney in the pelvic area and still have no noticeable pain. I think that's why the drs don't really get in a hurry! They look at me and think "HA! Pain, don't think so!" Nice, I love the pain tolerance I have (thanks mom and dad!) but sometimes it can be a pain in the rear!! I think I am looking up an actor's guild to see if I can take some classes on "how to act in pain".

Oh, and what might dh be doing during all this? Glad you asked! Mr. Search A Lot has already been scouting out what terrible things I have. Mr. Glass Half Empty thinks I am going to the hospital ANY DAY now. Mrs. Glass Half Full assured him that I would already be in the hospital if they thought this was life threatening. Mr. I Have My Mind Made Up isn't buying that story. So, daily I assure him I am ok, as I scratch my head like crazy, itch the dickens out of my legs, twitch my head from side to side - I REALLY AM OK!!