Definitely, without a doubt, not a morning person!! I think my brain may kick in and start thinking the right way about 9 am (seriously, ask people around me!).
This morning I had to stop and get gas before work, I like pushing it to see just how far I can make it with the light on!! As I pulled into QuikTrip, the three year old says he wants to go in and get a cheese stick. I say yes we can hurry in there and get that while the gas is pumping (when you let it go that far it takes a long time and raises your blood pressure when you see just how much it cost!). I flip the button to open the gas door and unlock the doors and push the button to open Todd’s door, we are in a hurry so I told him to get out of the cars eat while I get the pump ready. WELL……..seems easy enough right? HA!
The gas door is on the side that I opened the door and, do you know where this is going? The door is covering the gas door and I can’t get to it so I can pump the gas. OH NO, my heart is sinking as I am trying to think (bad at this hour of the morning) and figure out what the heck I am going to do? I try to shut the door and all it does is beep at me, so I try to make it go all the way back, it beeps at me again. FINE, you want to play hardball, I’ll play with you. I try again to make it close and then it gets mad at me and all its doing now is one LOUD continuous beep. I try to slide my hand between the door and the side of the van, no luck. Hmmm……I can’t call DH because his hands are much bigger than mine, AAA will probably laugh themselves silly, I look around at the gas pumps trying to find someone that may be able to help. NO LUCK…think, think, you can do this. Ok, I need a ruler, it’s thin and long so I should be able to slide it where I need to BUT who carries a ruler in their car? (I will be after today). I am beyond frustrated now and grab the door and slide it back as far as it possibly can go, hold it and cram my hand in between the door and the gas door and bingo, I got it to shut. My hand is a little sore and I am not sure what kind of damage it may have done to the leather on the inside of the door, I figure if I don’t look, there will be no damage thus all is well!
So, finally, I start the gas pumping all the time telling myself and reassuring myself that at that moment, that had to be one of the stupidest things I have done. WHY on earth did I not think before pushing that button to open the door, well, I know why, it was the hour of the morning!! I think I am going to contact Honda about that, surely that’s a safety hazard and I am not the only moron that has done that.
Yes, he did get his cheese stick and when we walked out, the pump had just finished pumping. I put the nozzle in the gas pump, the 3 year old in his car seat, myself in and took a big, deep breath. Hopefully that will not be a sign of how my day will go!!!! I think I should move to Oregon where all the stations are full service!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Reason #1 not to shop with...
A 3 year old! Went to Lowe's on Sunday looking for bolts for DH to fix the easel (it's only been broken since Christmas, but really, who's counting!). I took the 3 year old (because I am a nice person and forgot why I like to shop without the kids) so that Mr. Clutter could make a path in the garage to the breaker box. There are many reasons why I should not be sent to a hardware store looking for items, the first and foremost one, I haven't a CLUE about screws, bolts or whatever it is you sent me after.
Anyway, in my being confused and trying to figure out what bolt I needed, the 3 year old was in the cart playing with the bins of bolts, I told him to quit and to not put those baggies of bolts in the basket, we didn't need them and they were the wrong size.
Finally, SCORE, I found the right thing just as he says "I need to go to the bathroom" (paybacks I know from when I was little, there wasn't a store that I didn't know where the bathroom was!). Off we go to the bathroom. When we get there I go to grab my purse and as I am doing so, I see many packages of bolts IN MY PURSE, yikes. I panic, I know for sure someone is on there way to nab me for shoplifting. I quickly pull them out of my purse, put them in the cart and very sternly tell the 3 year old just why we don't put stuff in mommy's purse. To which he replies "I was just borrowing them. You told me not to put them in the cart" UUUUUUUUGGH, yes your right BUT you could've made mommy go to jail for stealing. Don't think he fully understood the whole thing but was very upset that those packages of bolts weren't making the trip home with us!
And this is why I don't shop with the kids, especially by myself!! At least with another set of eyes, things like this probably would not happen!
Anyway, in my being confused and trying to figure out what bolt I needed, the 3 year old was in the cart playing with the bins of bolts, I told him to quit and to not put those baggies of bolts in the basket, we didn't need them and they were the wrong size.
Finally, SCORE, I found the right thing just as he says "I need to go to the bathroom" (paybacks I know from when I was little, there wasn't a store that I didn't know where the bathroom was!). Off we go to the bathroom. When we get there I go to grab my purse and as I am doing so, I see many packages of bolts IN MY PURSE, yikes. I panic, I know for sure someone is on there way to nab me for shoplifting. I quickly pull them out of my purse, put them in the cart and very sternly tell the 3 year old just why we don't put stuff in mommy's purse. To which he replies "I was just borrowing them. You told me not to put them in the cart" UUUUUUUUGGH, yes your right BUT you could've made mommy go to jail for stealing. Don't think he fully understood the whole thing but was very upset that those packages of bolts weren't making the trip home with us!
And this is why I don't shop with the kids, especially by myself!! At least with another set of eyes, things like this probably would not happen!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Marriage...according to a 3 year old
Driving home from work the other day, the 3 year old says "Mooooooom" (always a sign that he has something BIG on his mind, something that is bothering him). I say "Yes" and he goes on a ti rate about how one of the girl's in his class told him he was bald, this upset him. He says "I am NOT bald because I'm NOT married and I WON'T ever get married because I don't ever want to be bald". So, according to this 3 year old and his dad (because you know that is where he got the idea), when you get married you go bald!
I assured him that going bald had nothing to do with being married, mommy wasn't bald. He didn't agree and then said "Mom's have long hair, yeah huh, because when they have long hair then they have babies and you have long hair mom, see!" I wonder what else goes on in that mind that is constantly working, you look at him and can see the wheels spinning and occasionally you get the full story with the wheels squealing and the smoke coming from the tires!
I assured him that going bald had nothing to do with being married, mommy wasn't bald. He didn't agree and then said "Mom's have long hair, yeah huh, because when they have long hair then they have babies and you have long hair mom, see!" I wonder what else goes on in that mind that is constantly working, you look at him and can see the wheels spinning and occasionally you get the full story with the wheels squealing and the smoke coming from the tires!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Boys and eating
I am one woman surrounded by three boys who LOVE to eat! The kids appetites go in spurts but I can't imagine what it will be like when they are teenagers!
Max is so very thoughtful with just about every meal I cook (and Todd also!). I can almost always count on "Thanks Mom for this awesome meal, it's so wonderful" but he can also be brutally honest and tell you that he "hates" it! While eating dinner tonight, he tells me what an awesome meal it was, what a wonderful cook I am, how thankful he was, where oh where did I learn to cook like that (he should've stopped there) and if I keep it up, I just might be a better cook than the chef at his school! Well, after he got "the look" he quickly, and smartly, starting back peddling and trying to correct his mistake! Smart kid, he must've known he was on the verge of having me on kitchen strike!
I also think they have to be lacking something in their diet, just not sure what it is, probably should google it. T pulled out a bowl of chopped onion and wanted to eat it (while I was cooking dinner), I said no you don't want to just eat raw onion without it being on food, it wasn't an apple. He gave me his "crazy" look and said yahuh I do, fine, enjoy it. He is eating it, hating it, but definately not telling me! In comes M and he must join in on the onion eating festivities, YUCK. I like onion, but it really is not a food to eat all by itself unless it's coated and deep fried! Needless to say, they got to swish mouthwash tonight, they had BAD breath!
Max is so very thoughtful with just about every meal I cook (and Todd also!). I can almost always count on "Thanks Mom for this awesome meal, it's so wonderful" but he can also be brutally honest and tell you that he "hates" it! While eating dinner tonight, he tells me what an awesome meal it was, what a wonderful cook I am, how thankful he was, where oh where did I learn to cook like that (he should've stopped there) and if I keep it up, I just might be a better cook than the chef at his school! Well, after he got "the look" he quickly, and smartly, starting back peddling and trying to correct his mistake! Smart kid, he must've known he was on the verge of having me on kitchen strike!
I also think they have to be lacking something in their diet, just not sure what it is, probably should google it. T pulled out a bowl of chopped onion and wanted to eat it (while I was cooking dinner), I said no you don't want to just eat raw onion without it being on food, it wasn't an apple. He gave me his "crazy" look and said yahuh I do, fine, enjoy it. He is eating it, hating it, but definately not telling me! In comes M and he must join in on the onion eating festivities, YUCK. I like onion, but it really is not a food to eat all by itself unless it's coated and deep fried! Needless to say, they got to swish mouthwash tonight, they had BAD breath!
Adventures out - kidless!
I am very fortunate to have a dh who is always willing to watch the kiddos so I don't have to drag them with me shopping or to run errands, it just always goes soooo much faster without the kids in tow saying nice things "how many things are you buying?" "when can you get finished" "I want that" "can we go yet" "how many things are you REALLY buying" and on and on, my favorite being the drag your feet on the ground all while crying to leave!! Anyway, with that said, I truly am blessed! I play volleyball on Monday nights and well, I never said the boys (all three of them) don't do "man" things while Mom is gone, but they are safe at home, or are they?!!
This Monday night I come home to boys that were breathing hard in the bed because they heard me pull up and rushed to bed! Busted, you really need to walk FAST, not run, so as to not wind yourself so I am not suspicious!! Anyway, dh tells me to look at the camera, afraid of what he might have taken pictures of (his little 3 year old laugh was making me VERY AFRAID). I see this:
Both boys up on the counter brushing their teeth, safety violation but ok, there is really a better reason why you don't sit your children on the counter to brush their teeth. Take a look at the mirror by T's head, notice the smile on the onery boy's face? Well, that's SPIT on the mirror and he's proud of it! I can only imagine the laughs that occurred between the boys (and when I say boys, dh is included, he is just a big kid!).
Every adventure out for me must be weighed with what I might come home to!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
So how do you?
When you are a woman in a house full of boys, many things will surprise you. When our first child was born, we knew early on that his privates would not be referred to by it's real name, so in our wonderful wisdom, "it" became his "equipment". We continued with this when our second was born and they have always referred to it as their "equipment".
I became very confused when we were in the pool the other day and the 3 year old started talking about pirates. This made no sense, there were no pirates in the pool, no one was acting like a pirate so dh and myself just looked on with confusion while trying to figure out the babbling of the "pirates". This was all directed towards his brother but what the heck?
I finally figured it out when he cries out "Brubber is splashing my pirates" and puts his hand in front of his equipment. AH HA (light bulb moment) his pirates are his privates!
On the note of the boys referring to their parts as "equipment" we've had one teacher just about fall out of her chair with laughter when the oldest boy referred to his "equipment". She said she had to turn around in her chair so he couldn't see her laugh! She had never heard "it" referred to as equipment!
The second was the 3 year olds teacher. I warned her at the beginning of the school year (after this taking the oldest son's teacher by surprise) what he calls "it". Today she tells me that they were outside playing and she tells the 3 year old "You need to get off the equipment and leave it alone." She said he looked at her with a very confused look and says "I wasn't doing anything with my equipment". She realized what she had said and corrected herself! She is going to have a fun year trying to avoid using the word "equipment". Sorry, well, not really, I just would absolutely cringe and turn into a horrible nasty monster if the real word ever popped out of their mouth (especially at their ages).
I became very confused when we were in the pool the other day and the 3 year old started talking about pirates. This made no sense, there were no pirates in the pool, no one was acting like a pirate so dh and myself just looked on with confusion while trying to figure out the babbling of the "pirates". This was all directed towards his brother but what the heck?
I finally figured it out when he cries out "Brubber is splashing my pirates" and puts his hand in front of his equipment. AH HA (light bulb moment) his pirates are his privates!
On the note of the boys referring to their parts as "equipment" we've had one teacher just about fall out of her chair with laughter when the oldest boy referred to his "equipment". She said she had to turn around in her chair so he couldn't see her laugh! She had never heard "it" referred to as equipment!
The second was the 3 year olds teacher. I warned her at the beginning of the school year (after this taking the oldest son's teacher by surprise) what he calls "it". Today she tells me that they were outside playing and she tells the 3 year old "You need to get off the equipment and leave it alone." She said he looked at her with a very confused look and says "I wasn't doing anything with my equipment". She realized what she had said and corrected herself! She is going to have a fun year trying to avoid using the word "equipment". Sorry, well, not really, I just would absolutely cringe and turn into a horrible nasty monster if the real word ever popped out of their mouth (especially at their ages).
Armpit advancement
So if you have read the "road trip - armpit fart" this story following will make all kinds of sense!! If you haven't, read it first so this makes sense!!
So, the 3 year old has continued to try and master the armpit fart and hasn't. He doesn't look like the crazy chicken with a wing problem anymore, just a boy trying to flap his arms to get some air in the pits! Until.............................dinner time. Ever had the privilege to eat dinner with 3 boys, er, I mean one grown man and his two sons? Come over, it truly is a pleasure!
We were eating dinner and the arm starts flapping. I don't pay much attention to it and just let him get the air he thinks his pits need. Then it all made sense, if you can't make the armpit fart using your arm, you just make the real fart sound while flapping the arm. So, now he has become an official man, can he really do that at 3 years old?, and can fart on command. Just be warned, anytime you are around him and the arm starts flapping, he's going to let a real one rip so be ready to hold your breath! Can't wait to let his cousin know this and see if she can do it as well (I am sure she has already!)
So, the 3 year old has continued to try and master the armpit fart and hasn't. He doesn't look like the crazy chicken with a wing problem anymore, just a boy trying to flap his arms to get some air in the pits! Until.............................dinner time. Ever had the privilege to eat dinner with 3 boys, er, I mean one grown man and his two sons? Come over, it truly is a pleasure!
We were eating dinner and the arm starts flapping. I don't pay much attention to it and just let him get the air he thinks his pits need. Then it all made sense, if you can't make the armpit fart using your arm, you just make the real fart sound while flapping the arm. So, now he has become an official man, can he really do that at 3 years old?, and can fart on command. Just be warned, anytime you are around him and the arm starts flapping, he's going to let a real one rip so be ready to hold your breath! Can't wait to let his cousin know this and see if she can do it as well (I am sure she has already!)
Road Trip - armpit farts
So, this summer my niece graduated from high school in Oregan. We made the journey two years ago with a two van convoy. This year, it was a one van convoy with two adults, myself and my mother, and 5 kids, yes, you read that right 5 kids (not all mine!) ranging in age from 10 to 3 years old. I really meant to call the dr for some prozac to make it through the long days in the car with the kids, did I mention 5?, but really they did very good.
Of these 5 kids, I've mentioned that right?, only one was a girl, although a tomboy at heart, she can be a princess also! Well, it seems somehow the "armpit" farting came about, we've all done it right, come on! You are a really talented "fake" farter if you can do the kneepit fart, what is that?, the kneepit is the crease in the back of your leg. She is a master at this! Really, a master of the armpit fart as well.
The funny thing here, besides 4 kids making fart noises and the giggles that go along with it, was the 3 year old who just couldn't get it! He tried very hard but really just looked like a wild chicken with a wing problem! He couldn't get the "put your hand in your arm pit and push your arm down" so he just walked around flapping his arm and laughing. To us who knew what he was doing, he looked normal, but to everyone else, well, a wild chicken flapping! Maybe he will get the concept down and will become an official armpit farter!!
Of these 5 kids, I've mentioned that right?, only one was a girl, although a tomboy at heart, she can be a princess also! Well, it seems somehow the "armpit" farting came about, we've all done it right, come on! You are a really talented "fake" farter if you can do the kneepit fart, what is that?, the kneepit is the crease in the back of your leg. She is a master at this! Really, a master of the armpit fart as well.
The funny thing here, besides 4 kids making fart noises and the giggles that go along with it, was the 3 year old who just couldn't get it! He tried very hard but really just looked like a wild chicken with a wing problem! He couldn't get the "put your hand in your arm pit and push your arm down" so he just walked around flapping his arm and laughing. To us who knew what he was doing, he looked normal, but to everyone else, well, a wild chicken flapping! Maybe he will get the concept down and will become an official armpit farter!!
Ever tried chaning oil???
Let me prefice this by saying that DH has changed his oil MANY times, never having a bit of trouble.....well, until....
Mr. Auto mechanic was having trouble with his oil filter and Mr. Organized wound up buying two different pliers to try and help Mr. Auto Mechanic get the oil filter off. So, when having trouble, Mr. Einstein called the store to see if the experts had any suggestions, they told him to put a screw driver through the filter to try and get it off. Mr. Einstein does and well, doesn’t work. So with the wrench, it still didn’t work and wound up tearing the bottom part of the filter off. Mr. Grumpy Bear comes inside all torked off because Mr. Auto Mechanic couldn’t get the filter off and Mr. Einstein put a hole in the filter so now Mr. Steve couldn’t drive it to WalMart to get it fixed. So he wanted me to call Mike and see if he could tow him there. Well, when you Mike didn’t answer, Mr. Incredible says “Well, I will just push the truck to WalMart”. Mr. Incredible’s nice wife is in the chair looking at him with the “are you really serious” look and trying HARD to control her laughter! Mrs. Brain suggested he utilize AAA as we have that service because of Mr. I lock my keys in the car. Mr. Macho says that’s ridiculous, he’s embarrassed to have to tell them why it needs towed so he will just push it. Well, Mr. Sherlock, you don’t have to tell them ANYTHING, you just simply need a tow. Well, Mrs. Macho asks "If you just need some muscle, I would be more than happy to go get the filter off for you!" Well, Mr. No Sense of Humor didn't find that to funny, wonder why?!!! Well, Mrs. Einstein decides to ask the auto mechanic teacher what to do and with his help, I was able to tell Mr. Auto Mechanic what he needed to solve his problem thus making Mr. Grumpy Bear into Mr. Happy Bear and gave him a sense of worth again.
DH then asks "Does your oil need changed, it does, right?" Ummm....no, thank you though, I am good to go!! The very next day, I begged the Auto Mechanic teacher to change the oil in my car because Mr. Auto Mechanic thought for sure it needed changed, and well, you know, if he thinks it needs done, he will check and we all no where that led to last time!
Mr. Auto mechanic was having trouble with his oil filter and Mr. Organized wound up buying two different pliers to try and help Mr. Auto Mechanic get the oil filter off. So, when having trouble, Mr. Einstein called the store to see if the experts had any suggestions, they told him to put a screw driver through the filter to try and get it off. Mr. Einstein does and well, doesn’t work. So with the wrench, it still didn’t work and wound up tearing the bottom part of the filter off. Mr. Grumpy Bear comes inside all torked off because Mr. Auto Mechanic couldn’t get the filter off and Mr. Einstein put a hole in the filter so now Mr. Steve couldn’t drive it to WalMart to get it fixed. So he wanted me to call Mike and see if he could tow him there. Well, when you Mike didn’t answer, Mr. Incredible says “Well, I will just push the truck to WalMart”. Mr. Incredible’s nice wife is in the chair looking at him with the “are you really serious” look and trying HARD to control her laughter! Mrs. Brain suggested he utilize AAA as we have that service because of Mr. I lock my keys in the car. Mr. Macho says that’s ridiculous, he’s embarrassed to have to tell them why it needs towed so he will just push it. Well, Mr. Sherlock, you don’t have to tell them ANYTHING, you just simply need a tow. Well, Mrs. Macho asks "If you just need some muscle, I would be more than happy to go get the filter off for you!" Well, Mr. No Sense of Humor didn't find that to funny, wonder why?!!! Well, Mrs. Einstein decides to ask the auto mechanic teacher what to do and with his help, I was able to tell Mr. Auto Mechanic what he needed to solve his problem thus making Mr. Grumpy Bear into Mr. Happy Bear and gave him a sense of worth again.
DH then asks "Does your oil need changed, it does, right?" Ummm....no, thank you though, I am good to go!! The very next day, I begged the Auto Mechanic teacher to change the oil in my car because Mr. Auto Mechanic thought for sure it needed changed, and well, you know, if he thinks it needs done, he will check and we all no where that led to last time!
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